Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
