You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
