True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
