Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
