PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize