First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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