He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
