I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
