wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
