We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
