I will die if light touches me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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