I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize