There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
