absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
