my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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