and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
