just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
