PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
