I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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