Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
