Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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