the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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