your thong is hanging out like whoa
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
