youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
