Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
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