I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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