The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
