My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
