well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
