kristin has been a bad kristin
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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