Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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