Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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