What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
