i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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