You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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