dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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