exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
