Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
