I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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