You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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