Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
