think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
