I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
