It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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