Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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