It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
