i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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