You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We got so high we made milksteak
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is my gift to your gina
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize