You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize