i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
