is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
