Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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