FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
