Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
