We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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