why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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