somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
