I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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