some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
