we made out on top of his cat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
