man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
