why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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