Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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