Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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