there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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